Drivers across Islington have been crying out for a solution to the problems that these obstacles are causing. Now scientists from the British Institute of Kinetic Energy think they are close to finding the answer.
"Our first breakthrough came when we thought about the standard number of wheels on a traditional car," said Dr I. C. Green. "We realised that four were not really necessary and that if the quota was reduced to two, then the vehicle would be slimmer, and traffic filters would no longer be a barrier. Of course, this means that there would no longer be room for the engine, so we are looking at alternative means of propulsion. The holy grail would be if the drivers themselves could produce the power to move the vehicle, and we are investigating several options."
Head of Research, P. Dalling, said that, initially, the most promising method of propulsion was an array of sails into which the driver blows, but then the team come up with the idea of lower limb propulsion. She said, "We think this idea might have legs so we are going to run with it for a while", adding that the pressure of the drivers' feet may set off a chain reaction which could provide a cycle of benefits of aerobic exercise, manoeuvrability, and transportation.
When asked about this new development a spokes-person at Low Traffic Islington said "We are stunned at the innovative thinking that is going on here. We await further developments with anticipation. We just hope we don't have to wait till next April for the results."
